DEPRESSION

I thought I got out of this stage when I met my husband. I guess I was wrong don't get me wrong I love him to death and always will he is my life and the only one that keeps me inspired to do what I love to do. Lately though I have just been in this deep depression and I have been hiding it for quite some time now. I feel like it is time to get this off my chest cause honestly I can't hold it in any more with all the stuff that is happening. It is getting to the point where I stay up later then my husband just so I can cry without him knowing. Cause to me crying shows weakness. I just want all of you to know that recently one of my family members who I thought I was finally getting close with blocked me cause she thinks I was coping her photography. Which is not true. I took one photo that was simallar that I didn't even like that much and ended up deleting it. And signed up for the same school cause I really want to do this with my life so much and it was the cheapest one. Also when I started doing photography she said that she was giving it up. Not only tell i started did she started again. Well anyway long rant about that she has nothign to do with my life anymore and I could care less honestly she has nothing to do with my recent depression. I don't need cousins anyway not like I ever really had a real cousin to begin with. But anyway have you ever just been to the point where you don't feel good enough for anybody and I know this may hurt most of your feelings if you are close to me. I don't feel like I mean crap to any of you including my family. Weather you really feel that way or not it's how I feel. I don't really know how to handle this any more. I am not about to handle the way I handled it when I was younger and depressed so don't worry. This is something that I will handle on my own I just would really like to feel like I matter to more of you then just my husband and my best friend. They are really the only ones I feel like I can count on of feel like I can count on. I mean at my wedding I had maybe 10 people show up at the reception and that really stung by my friends and family. I have always felt last in my family and to this day I still do. I am 21 married going to school and have a full time job and I still feel like I am treated like the a stupid girl that I will always be marked as. :( and yes this does hurt alot. I really hope all you guys read all this cause I really need to get it off my chest. :( and I hope to feel a little better when this is all out in the open. I know that most of you will not make it even to this point if any of you will read it all or even click on this post which 90% percent of you never do. But if you did make it this far I thank you and ask you not to say pitty things in the comment section I really just wanted to get it off my chest cause I am tired of acting happy. So thanks for listening.